Thu. Aug 22nd, 2019

2019 Funny Thanksgiving Quotes For A Smile, Letter Board, Friends, And Family

4 min read
Funny Thanksgiving Quotes - Thanksgiving is an emotional time

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes - Thanksgiving is an emotional time

  1. Thanksgiving is an emotional time. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they see only once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often. – Johnny Carson

    Funny Thanksgiving Quotes - Thanksgiving is an emotional time
    Funny Thanksgiving Quotes – Thanksgiving is an emotional time
  2. The Thanksgiving tradition is, we overeat. ‘Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we just eat a lot?’ But we do that every day Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us? Jim Gaffigan

    Funny Thanksgiving Quotes - The Thanksgiving tradition is, we overeat
    Funny Thanksgiving Quotes – The Thanksgiving tradition is, we overeat
  3. If there’s a better way of showing thanks than eating a large bird followed by pie, I’d like to see it. Jake Vig

    Funny Thanksgiving Quotes - If there's a better way of showing thanks
    Funny Thanksgiving Quotes – If there’s a better way of showing thanks
  4. “What is sauce for the goose may be sauce for the gander but is not necessarily sauce for the chicken, the duck, the turkey or the guinea hen.” Alice B. Toklas

    Funny Thanksgiving Quotes - What is sauce for the goose may be sauce
    Funny Thanksgiving Quotes – What is sauce for the goose may be sauce
  5. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There’s turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Someone needs to tell the turkey, man, just be yourself. Mitch Hedberg

    Funny Thanksgiving Quotes - If you stand in the meat section at the grocery
    Funny Thanksgiving Quotes – If you stand in the meat section at the grocery
  6. Archeologists 10,000 years from now will believe this was a sacred feast where gravy boats were worshipped. Just Bill

    Funny Thanksgiving Quotes - Archeologists 10,000 years from now will believe
    Funny Thanksgiving Quotes – Archeologists 10,000 years from now will believe
  7. It’s not Thanksgiving until your backyard game of touch football ends with Grandma being put into concussion protocol. Zack

    Funny Thanksgiving Quotes - It's not Thanksgiving until your backyard
    Funny Thanksgiving Quotes – It’s not Thanksgiving until your backyard
  8. I like football. I find its an exciting strategic game. It’s a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving. Craig Ferguson

    Funny Thanksgiving Quotes - I like football. I find its an exciting strategic game.
    Funny Thanksgiving Quotes – I like football. I find its an exciting strategic game.
  9. How to cut a turkey the Republican way: give 1% of your guests 99% of the meat. Andy Borowitz

    Funny Thanksgiving Quotes - How to cut a turkey the Republican way
    Funny Thanksgiving Quotes – How to cut a turkey the Republican way
  10. Hope my relatives are getting along with the professional line sitter I hired to hold my place at the front of the Thanksgiving food line. John Lyon

    Funny Thanksgiving Quotes - Hope my relatives are getting along with the professional
    Funny Thanksgiving Quotes – Hope my relatives are getting along with the professional
  11. “I hate turkeys. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There’s turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Someone needs to tell the turkey, ‘man, just be yourself. ” Mitch Hedberg
  12. It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak. Phyllis Diller
  13. It was dramatic to watch my grandmother decapitate a turkey with an ax the day before Thanksgiving. Nowadays the expense of hiring grandmothers for the ax work would probably qualify all turkeys so honored with gourmet status. Russell Baker    
  14. I’m looking forward to seeing pie this Thanksgiving more than members of my own family. Damien Fahey 
  15. Serious Thanksgiving question: when a family member’s telling a tragic story and everyone’s crying, how long should I wait before taking a bite of my pie? beth likes pie
  16. Thanksgiving – when the people who are the most thankful are the ones who didn’t have to cook. Melanie White  
  17. “I have strong doubts that the first Thanksgiving even remotely resembled the ‘history’ I was told in second grade. But considering that (when it comes to holidays) mainstream America’s traditions tend to be over-eating, shopping, or getting drunk, I suppose it’s a miracle that the concept of giving thanks even surfaces at all.” Ellen Orleans
  18. Thanksgiving – when the people who are the most thankful are the ones who didn’t have to cook. Melanie White
  19. I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land. Jon Stewart 
  20. Having Thanksgiving with the in-laws and apparently, we’re all very thankful for our smartphones.
    HammBone   
  21. I’m from Canada, so Thanksgiving to me is just Thursday with more food. And I’m thankful for that. Howie Mandel
  22. When I was a kid in Indiana, we thought it would be fun to get a turkey a year ahead of time and feed it and so on for the following Thanksgiving. But by the time Thanksgiving came around, we sort of thought of the turkey as a pet, so we ate the dog. Only kidding. It was a cat! David Letterman
  23. Thank God I can start calling this my “holiday weight”. Just Bill 
  24. “It must be an odd feeling to be thankful to nobody in particular. Christians in public institutions often see this odd thing happening on Thanksgiving Day. Everyone in the institution seems to be thankful ‘in general.’ It’s very strange. It’s a little like being married in general.” Cornelius Plantinga, Jr.

See more: When Is Thanksgiving This Year? 2019, 2020, 2021, 2022 And 2023

See more: Happy Thanksgiving 2019 Wishes For Everyone

See more: (2019) Happy Thanksgiving Quotes For Friends And Family

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Copyright © All rights reserved. | Newsphere by AF themes.